Pride Month is once again upon us, with its rainbow-filled celebrations of diversity, inclusion, and equality. But as we celebrate the stunningly brave stunningness and bravery of our LGBTQ+ neighbors, friends and relatives, let us not forget that Pride Month is very exclusionary of the other six deadly sins. In the spirit of inclusion, I’ve … Continue reading For Pride Month, Six More Months That Deserve To Be Celebrated [SATIRE]
Tag: Satire
Anti-Murder Legislation Hurts Innocent Murderers [SATIRE]
Six months ago, Bertie Kilfacer needed to get rid of his ex-girlfriend. “I just couldn’t handle it” he tells me, looking wistfully out the window at the rainy day outside. “She kept calling me every week, asking me to give back her salad spinner. It was bad for my mental health. I had to make … Continue reading Anti-Murder Legislation Hurts Innocent Murderers [SATIRE]
How To Speak In Tongues In 5 Easy Steps [SATIRE]
Do you want to be super spiritual? Of course you do. What’s the best way to be super spiritual? Speaking in tongues, of course! Speaking in tongues makes you into a super spiritual uber-Christian; it’s in the Bible. Sadly, not everyone can speak in tongues readily like the Bible says we’re supposed to. Now, thanks … Continue reading How To Speak In Tongues In 5 Easy Steps [SATIRE]
Confessing Our Sins Against Plants is not Enough (SATIRE)
Union Theological Seminary recently had students confess their sins against plants. This is an admirable step towards environmental justice, but it is not enough. Although I’m sure they mean well, the hopelessly unwoke staff of Union have callously forgotten one of God’s most abused creations: dirt. Dirt is no less created by God than people, … Continue reading Confessing Our Sins Against Plants is not Enough (SATIRE)
I Blow Up Orphanages And Jesus Still Loves Me (SATIRE)
(Read this article for context.) I’ve blown up orphanages for fun and Jesus still loves me. My faith is, like, such a big part of my life, and people get, like, religion and, like Christianity and stuff so messed up some times. My faith is, like, personal, like a relationship, not, like all judging and … Continue reading I Blow Up Orphanages And Jesus Still Loves Me (SATIRE)
“Human” is oppressive. Word. Justice. Now. (SATIRE)
The patriarchy is everywhere, and it makes me angry. Even the very name of our species is an example of the toxic cisheteronormativity of creeping maleness. Human. It’s built off of the word ‘man’, yet another example of toxic masculinity manspreading its way into our language and oppressing queer and nonbinary bodies, not to mention … Continue reading “Human” is oppressive. Word. Justice. Now. (SATIRE)
Applied Christianity 